Umbrella guy is an ALF

I am pretty sure that the old black man who sits at the umbrella stand (working?) in front of little Petes Diner, is an ALF (alien-life-form) collecting information from humanoids.

He smiles and stares directly into my eyes when I pass. He smiles wide and wrinkled, and has stars engraved to his gold fronts. I imagine those stars glow warm and bright when his ship is nearing planet earth.

He always wearing the same exact outfit. Day in, day out, rain or shine, hot or cold, and consists of:

Black trenchcoat
Black brimmed hat
Ear muffs
Red scarf
Black pants
Dress shoes

I always expect him to smell like shit, but I never really notice any scent when we cross paths. Perhaps it is because Alien excrement doesn’t smell like what I know to be shit.

He sits on his milkcrate, head burrowed into his jacket, usually listening to some kind of gospel music on the radio. He watches everyone that passes (gathering information), and if you smile at him, he will say “ I love you” or “have a blessed day”. I assess that he has learned his English from the Gospel radio he listens to, and returns to his ship nightly to report on the workings of the city.

I saw him late after work one night, alone at the counter top of Little Petes, happily licking an ice cream cone. Another night, he was bellowing at a homeless woman on walnut street in a language I didn’t understand. Usually he is just sitting, and sitting, and sitting.

I assume he is an ALF, because if he were actually human; that would just be too weird.